WHO WE ARE? OR LEARNED BEHAVIOR?
We say, "This is who I AM." because we are so convinced by the garb we have decorated ourselves in, the language we use, and the stuff we buy that supports the "vision" of who we are.
It's 9 O'clock and I am sitting here pondering this question. You see, we are not who we think we are ... mostly we are made up of programs, memes, and archetypes. Then we put this all together in a compartment and call this the "I AM."
We let our religion define us ... we let our friends and family lovingly box us into their favorite category. We allow judgement from others and self shake us to the very core.
We are NOT our learned behaviors. Perhaps we have expectation around certain ways of being i.e. kindness, compassion, courtesy. However, we are not our learned behaviors. They are just that, LEARNED. Perhaps our parents or our culture gave definition to what those behaviors "look like" in action ... but they are still just that, learned. What is one way for another, is different for the other.
You would think, that there would be some general guidelines as to what kindness, compassion, and courtesy looks like or feels like ... apparently not. Perhaps its all just my shit and the learned behavior clashing with another.
In understanding, quite deeply, that the ONLY person one can change is self ... then why do we insist on wanting to change another? It can never be. All we can do is root deeper into self, and shine our light. It is only in this and through this state of being that we have any chance of making a difference in this world.
In all of that... I still believe that it is our duty to make requests that empower our voice and desire to feel good. In all the years of Catholic school, somehow I began to feel guilty for asking to have my needs met instead, always satisfying the needs of the other.
Our gift is our ability to FEEL ... it is innate, in all of us. We sift out the broken programs and reclaim the power of feeling; in so doing ... men and women alike, we then have our greatest gift! In this homeostases of being ... we are able to begin to know our truth; Our "I AM". It is here that we can stop apologizing for wanting more kindness and compassion. We can start by giving it freely to ourselves first. I believe it is through this process that we will begin to experience the mirrors of self reflecting that which we so deeply require.
It is our beliefs that make us who we are.
If you mind, it matters, and so it is. How well are your beliefs serving you?